My Last Night - Family Changes

Sooooo I guess tonight is my last night with my first host family. It sort of felt like this day would never come because I have been waiting for it for months, but now that it has I don't really know how to feel. Living in this home I have experienced some of the best days of my life, and some of the hardest times I have ever been through. I certainly lived a life of extremes in this house, but that is what makes it hard to leave. Everything I have been through on my exchange so far has toughened me up in places I had no idea I was so weak, and opened my mind to ideas I never fathomed even existed. An exchange has a huge impact on anyone lucky enough to go on one, and which house am exchange student is sent to has, of course, a major say in what that impact will be. It's hard for me to leave this house because of all the nights I have sat crisscross on my balcony to write out all the thoughts swarming through my head in complicated Spanglish. It's hard because of all the mornings I have woken up, remembered I was in Chile, and then happily set my mood to the uplifting tone of my bedrooms bright blue wall paint. It's difficult because all the little night time tears I cried in my worst moments, I cried looking up at the little accidental flaws that I formed into shapes on my ceiling, running around the nearby plaza, or in other places still knowing for sure that I would be returning to this little house later on. 

The hardest, most impossible, most complicated things to leave behind, however, are the people who have made this house into my home. Manuel and Lilian, Mamá y Papà, two of the most forgiving, understanding, and loving people I have had the pleasure of getting to know in my lifetime. We have had our differences, to say the least, but we are a family and there is not one family that doesn't have a few problems every once in a while. Honestly, I feel like the difficulties we have faced, and the ways we have overcome them, are what prove to me the most that I am, indeed, and always will be, one of their daughters. Since I haven't yet left, I have know idea what I'm going to miss he most about this family, but I do know that they will be the little differences that you don't notice until they are missing. Without leaving, I can tell you that I will miss the way that my mom cocks her head to warm up her smile, her little foot steps coming up the stairs to say goodnight to me, and the way she does everything, even dropping the ice cubs into my tea, so fragilely as if I am something worth protecting. I will miss the way my dad dances in the car and in the stores like nobody is watching and says little frases in English to make me laugh. I have had such an exceptional time living with these people for the past 8 months, and have felt such love in the most unlikely of places. I am eternally grateful for this opportunity to study abroad, and I remember that every day, but I am even more grateful for the way these people have accepted me and turned my Chilean experience into something so vivid and lively and rich with such epic stories. I love my host parents and I love Chile and everyday I fall even more in love with the memories I made the day before. 

I have no idea what my life will be like in my new family, but I do know how I am going to arrive at their home. I am going to bring all the positive energy I can muster, and all the smiles that can't seem to stop bubbling out of my mouth whenever I exhale. I am going to leave this house with strength and do the best I can to be the greatest daughter and exchange student I can in the next one. I am not going to let the slip ups that happened with my first family discourage me, but I am going to remember them as lessons that nobody should be ashamed about having to learn, and grow through the knowledge that one only gains through experience and persistence. I only have three months left in this outstanding country, and I am going to continue to make the best our of every single second because that is really the best thing I can think of to do. 

Good night, everyone. And wish me luck! :)