Friday, July 25, 2014

Journey Home

  I always imagined the last few days of my exchange being heartbreaking and terrible, but it turns out that the sadness comes in waves. You can hug your best friend goodbye feeling nothing other than lucky you had the pleasure of knowing her, but then randomly melt down when you realize you are walking down a certain street for the last time. Maybe this isn't how it works for everyone, but I am learning that this is how it works for me. 
Yesterday at 2:00pm I met up with a lot of friends in the bus terminal. They passed me letters and took pictures together and everything felt happy and light. The bus actually began driving away as we took our last group picture and we had to run to catch up hahaha. All of my friends wanted to go to the airport, but it's far away and expensive so I went with Manu, Rorro, and Paula. During the bus ride I talked to Paula while all of my other friends texted me sweet goodbye messages. There was a bit of traffic, so it took us a little longer than usual to get to the airport, but we had planned for that and had hours of spare time. When we arrived at the bus station, we all hauled all my heavy bags over to buy another bus ticket that would take me to the airport and then ran around buying Chilean treats I wouldn't be able to find in the US. Manu is the coolest kid ever and because he couldn't take me all the way to the airport, he rode the bus to Santiago with us just to "take me as far as he could" and then took another bus home to Rancagua right after! Saying goodbye to him wasn't difficult because we were all in just such good moods hahahah. It was weird! Before leaving, he handed me some Chilean chocolates and a Spanish grammar book that would answer the type of questions I am always asking him. It was the greatest gift and he knows me so well! I really love him. 
After that Paula and Rorro and I got on the bus to the airport. I seriously cannot stress how un-sad we all were! It felt so normal and I began getting excited about my journey home! I told them I was bummed to leave Chile because I know I will miss it a lot, but I had nothing to look forward to anymore other than seeing my family in the US again, so why not get happy about that?! None of us had any idea of what I needed to do at the airport, but we figured it out as a team! We printed my ticket and then went and test-weighed my bag because it looked very heavy. It was VERY heavy. Like $150 dollars worth of too-heavy. However my friends and I are little geniuses and decided to buy the cheapest little suitcase we could and distribute the weight. It worked and it was kind of hilarious sitting on the ground in public while throwing my clothes all over the place. The only downside to bringing another bag was that it meant I wouldn't be able to take my ukulele. I left it in the good hands of Paula and promised to come back for it in December hahaha. 
After all my bags were checked and ready, we still had about an hour before I needed to enter international security so we decided to go eat dinner in a restaurant. We laughed and had fun and it was seriously the best last meal I could have possibly eaten! 
After dinner we went downstairs and I hugged my beautiful friends goodbye. I knew I would miss them, but that made me happy because all I felt was how much I love them to pieces. I then took a deep breath and walked into security, and it was as simple as that. 
During my journey from Chile to the US I met many amazing people who helped me in a lot of ways. If it weren't for a man who pretended I was his daughter to let me get through security in the fast lane with the rest of his family, I would have missed my connecting flight! I got a lot of compliments on my blazer and I didn't sleep at all but I am having a good time hahahah. 
In 10 minutes I will arrive in SFO and hug my family for the first time in a year. Wow. It's really been a whole year, and what a great year it's been! I am such a lucky girl, and I know this little ending is just a big beginning in disguise. :) 

Big Day Thoughts

So today I guess I will be boarding the plane that will end my exchange. I feel very confused as I sit in my empty house that is usually filled with so many people. I finished packing up my last few things a few minutes ago, and now I don't really know what to feel. 
I feel lonely, mostly. I will go meet up with some friends in a few minutes and get a coffee or something and we will laugh and have fun but I still think I will feel a little lonely anyways. Today I will have to go to the airport in bus because my host family is in the South and my host family from before, well, Lilian is working and Manuel chose to teach classes during the hours I will be at the airport. I wish I could say I didn't care, that I have another family who would go no matter what if they could and friends who are going with me in bus (because both are true), but it actually hurts a lot that my first host family doesn't feel like they should take me to the airport. I know we had a few problems before, and I know that I am no longer their "responsibility", but I really love them a lot and I have all year and this makes me feel like they love me back a lot less. I lived with them for 8 months which makes them a huge part of my exchange, and it makes me sad that the year is ending like this. It makes me feel like all I really was to them was a responsibility that they no longer have to worry about. 
Times like this make me think about Anna, and all the ways I want to make her feel loved. I don't care what she is like, if we are completely different, or if we don't get along all the time. I am going to do everything possible to make her feel as loved as my second family and friends made me feel. Anna will be recieved at the airport with a thousand balloons and taken to the airport in the end with a million hahaha. 
I guess I am just sort of rambling on right now. 
This year has been an unforgettable one and it's making me feel all sorts of crazy emotions, but one thing I have always been here is happy. I'm happy now too, in some twisted silly way. :)

Monday, July 21, 2014

To Chiloe!

For those of you who aren't familiar with Chilean geography (which I'm guessing is the majority of you), Chiloe is an island in the far south of Chile. Chile is a long long country, so traveling always takes a while when you want to get to see the really cool parts. This last week my family gave me the opportunity join them on their winter vacation to Chiloe during my last week in Chile, and of course I said yes! The only thing was that they had plans to return on the 26th and my plane to the Us departs the  22nd so I had to return to Rancagua a few days early in bus. I was sooo excited to get to travel more in Chile! My first family didn't really like to leave the house much, but my second family had taken Alex on a 3 week long tour down into the south of Chile and she loved it. Now my host family tells me that they wish they had invited me along with Alex during the summer hahaha. That would have been nice, but I think it's even sweeter that they were planning another trip just so I could see a bit of the south before I left! 
We left Rancagua at like 10am on Wednesday and began the very long journey down to Chiloe. We stopped in Talca and had a nice lunch with our grandparents, and then continued south for many hours. At about 7pm one of the tires blew out as we sped along the freeway. I got very scared because Monse wasn't using a seatbelt and grabbed onto her with my life and she didn't even wake up hahaha. We got out of the car and fixed the tire. It took about an hour and a half, and my family wasn't even upset. They laughed and said they always had bad luck like this and I called it an adventure. 
After that little incident, I tried to sleep in the car. Cristobal and I were squashed into the back seat and it was kind of hilarious. We were soooo tired and we tried laying in like every position possible to mankind and just kept laughing because we couldn't feel our limbs and it was pathetic. We ended up just talking and after hours and hours of trying to sleep we finally did at like 6am. Two hours later we were woken up and told we had arrived. 
The place we stayed was called Curaco de Villes and it was a quiet little town with lots of sheep. It was rainy outside so I spent most of the four days cuddled up with my siblings and enjoying my last moments with them. My mom was down stairs cooking typical Chilote foods and laughing with the other moms. It was a mellow little half of a week, and I had a good time. I felt at home while hanging out with my family. My dad took me to see really old and famous churches on the island and then to a artisanal farmers market to buy a few things for my family in the US. 
This church is called the Iglesia de Achao and is made completely out of wood! It's hundreds of years old and very impressive. 
This one we saw at night and I just thought it was so lovely to look at all lit up with lights!
This is my host mommy and I being adorable. 
Family meal time!
On the way to drop me off at the bus station, we all cuddled up to eachother as close as we could. Everything felt still to me because I didn't feel like I could actually be saying goodbye to them. When we got out of the car, Monse wouldn't let go of me and hugged me as hard as she could. My entire family passed me letters they had written me to read on the plane. When the bus came and it was time to say goodbye, I felt sad because I wasn't crying. People always comfort so bees by saying "it's okay to cry it's nothing to be ashamed of", but that isn't my problem at all. When all I feel like doing is pouring out all the tears I have inside, I can't seem to shed a single one. I feel bad because I know it means a lot to other people to see you cry. It shows you care. I care about this family more than I care about almost anyone on my exchange, but I didn't cry until I was on the bus, and even then barely at all. Maybe I just feel lucky to meet them, or maybe my tears are saving themselves for another time and they really will eventually pour out of me. I don't know. All I know is this:
This family has done something to my heart that I hope will never ever be undone. They have truly shown me what it feels like to be accepted and loved in another country for everything I am, and to feel like I am worth all the love they have to give me. I feel at home with my three crazy siblings and I will miss our ticke fights and pillow wars. I feel like I have a mom who would fight for me through anything and who unconditionally loves me as one of her own. I feel like I have a father who knows so many things about the world and who works so hard and who is always eager to learn new things about me. I know I have a family here who will open their house to me and my future family even if it means sleeping with four people in a twin sized bed, and that they would be thrilled to do it. I love this family with everything I am, and I have always felt loved back, and that means a lot to someone like me. 







The bus ride to Rancagua was 17 hours long and I spent the first 6 hours of it reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" in SPANISH. I am proud of that because I downloaded it on my iPad months ago and tried to read it but it was too hard and now I understand every word! I have improved! :D
I tried sleeping but I can never sleep in buses. I tossed and turned for about to hours and then just gave up sleeping completely. I turned and realized my dad was awake in the seat next to me, and he smiled and said we only had a half hour left! WHAT?! Apparently my two hours was 8 hours. I was happy but still so sleepy. There was no comfortable way to sleep so I just sat back and waited out the next half hour feeling like a big lump of worn-out-ness. When we arrived in Rancagua, we walked the few blocks to our house and then I climbed into bed and fell asleep for a few hours and my host dad went to work. 
I am now off to the center to buy my last empanada and some Chilean candy for Stella. It's going to be a good day! 



Tuesday, July 15, 2014

All the Despedidas

This week has been full of goodbyes. 
I had my last day of school and my friends surprised me with a cake. It was delicious and everyone hugged me and made me feel very loved. During an assembly, the principal called me up on stage and gave me the school pin and flag. He said I had been a positive contribution to the school and that he can tell everyone will miss me. The pin is now on my blazer and I will surely hang the flag up in my room!
On Friday I went to a goodbye party Alex's friends threw for her. It was fun but I hated thinking about Alex leaving. I started feeling lonely but I had a pretty good time anyways. 
On Saturday night, Eduardo drove me up to Katie's house to say goodbye to her before she left for the airport. We passed eachother letters and then I hugged her and left. I wasn't feeling super sad until I started talking to Eduardo after. We went to get ice cream and were sitting in his car talking and I just began to cry. I cried because Katie was leaving and because Alex was leaving the next day and because I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone. He hugged me, which made me cry harder because I reallyyyy didn't want to say goodbye to him. We planned on that being our goodbye, but saying goodbye was too hard so we made plans for a few days later. When I got home, my family through a goodbye party for Alex and I and everyone came. I was tired and sobby like the entire night, and ended up going to bed early (at like three). Before going to bed, however, I enjoyed my last evening with Alex and ate a lot of desserts and joked around with my beautiful family. 
The next day I went to the airport to say goodbye to Alex. We almost didn't make it in time, because my family left super late, but we got there just in time to hug her one last time. It was painful watching Alex say goodbye and knowing I would have to do the same in one short week. 

Yesterday I went to Talca to say goodbye to Franco's family and I got to meet Robin, a German exchange student who had lived with them 2 years ago. We spent the day talking and eating yummy food and watching movies together. It was a simple goodbye, but an important one. I love that family a lot and I know I will see them again in the future. 


Today I have plans to meet up and have lunch with my friends from Coya and after that I will try to say goodbye to Eduardo again. Today is my last day in Rancagua, because tomorrow I will leave with my family to see the south of Chile. I am excited to go with them and have a few adventures in my last days here. I seriously can't believe this year has gone by so fast! 
I know this blog doesn't sound as bubbly as I usually do, but this stuff isn't very fun for me to write about. I am getting tired of saying goodbyes. I am still happy and I am not going to be depressed at home in the US or anything, it's just at some point I got tired of got tired of crying but realized I couldn't stop. 
The good thing is, I am going to make the most of my last days here. And I'm going to start right now! Bye. :)

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

School Swaps and a Big Surprise

This last week Alex and I decided to mix things up a little bit. We come from very different schools  and therefore live very different exchanges, so this week we decided to get an inside look on how the other lives on a day-to-day basis. We got permission from our teachers for me to go to school with her on Thursday and for her to come to school with me on Friday, and those two days ended up being very fun! 
On Thursday morning I got up and went to school with my siblings because they go to the same school as Alex. Alex's school, Instituto Ingles, is known for being one of the top schools in our city, and just from one day of visiting I could tell why! The school was huge compared to what I am used to, and I was kind of nervous because I didn't know anyone but I knew I'd be fine because I was with Alex. During the classes, the students were all very quiet and respectful and the teachers gave lectures in deep voices and everything felt very serious. However during the breaks, the students were fun and nice to talk to and it was great meeting all the people from Alex's stories! Her school was so organized and fancy and I had such a great day visiting! After school we met up with the other exchange students for the last time as a group. It probably should have been sad, but it wasn't. It felt so normal like nobody would go home and nothing would change. I think it will be a lot harder when we have to accept that we are all living in different countries and can't just take a taxi and meet up in the center for ice cream. At this point, however, I just feel numb. Happily numb, but still very numb hahahah. 
On Friday morning Alex and I went to my school together so she could see my exchange life. She was shocked at how incredibly small my school was. I would say that Colegio Quimahue is known for being the tiniest school, but because it's so little practically nobody knows it even exists hahaha! Alex really enjoyed her day there, though. She met all my friends (and I don't know how anyone could meet my friends and not fall in love with them as quickly as I did) and she got to see how we are kind of like a big family. A bunch of little kids came up and asked me if she was my sister hahahah and she was surprised that all the younger kids knew me. After school we went and at sushi for lunch with Paula and Helena and had a lovely time hehe. I eat a lot of sushi in this country...wow. 

Now for the BIG news:

On Saturday morning, my host mom recieved a call from a police officer saying that one of her son, Cristobal's, suitcases has been left behind in the airport. She was confused because Cristobal was supposed to arrive a week later, but soon realized that he had tricked her to come home a week early as a surprise. I had known about the surprise, and keeping it a secret was so hard! She had missed her baby boy soooo much and I just wanted to tell her but I never did. When she found out, though, she was furious! She stormed the house wanting to know who knew about the surprise and why nobody would tell her. My mom is one of those people who loves surprising others but dislikes being surprised herself hahaha. I sat her down and told her that the best thing she could do was get over herself and be happy! I told her she shouldn't be mad because she was going to see her beautiful boy again for the first time in a year and that if she wanted to surprise him we still had an hour! She told me that he loves lemon pie, so I agreed to make him one while she got ready and took a shower. I started to make the pie and then realized we didn't have butter, so I ran over to the jumbo. When I got back, he had already gotten home and was waiting for me in my room! 
Monse was probably the happiest to see her big brother again! Unfortunately, that didn't stop her from trying to tickle me to death for not telling her the big secret!


Cristobal's family loves him a lot and really missed him during this year. You could feel the house practically bursting with happiness and I was surprised at how much energy he had after such a long trip! I was so happy to see him after so long and he greeted me with a big bear-hug hahaha. He then went around town surprising all of his best friends at their houses while Alex (who had come over to the house after hearing the news) and I finished making the pie. We all sat down and had a big happy family lunch together that day and ate delicious food! 
After lunch, Cristobals friends and Alex and I all went to play a game of soccer. It was sooooooooooooooo amazing! I hadn't played in forever and it was just so so so fun! His friends are way better than me, but I actually scored a few goals and they were impressed because girls don't okay much soccer here  hahaha. It ended up being one of my favorite days of my exchange so far!
Seeing Cristobal get home makes me wonder about what it will be like for me. I mean I know it will be very different, for we are from two very different countries, but it's still comforting to see how grateful his family is to have him back! I know my family misses me and wants me home, and seeing his experience makes me look forward to going through the happy emotions he is experiencing. Leaving this country will be hard, but going home is just another part of the experience, and my plan is to make the best of that part of my exchange. 
Sooo yeah! We are all pretty happy over here! Freezing, but happy hahahha. I love this family and this country and this year so much. :)