I feel lonely, mostly. I will go meet up with some friends in a few minutes and get a coffee or something and we will laugh and have fun but I still think I will feel a little lonely anyways. Today I will have to go to the airport in bus because my host family is in the South and my host family from before, well, Lilian is working and Manuel chose to teach classes during the hours I will be at the airport. I wish I could say I didn't care, that I have another family who would go no matter what if they could and friends who are going with me in bus (because both are true), but it actually hurts a lot that my first host family doesn't feel like they should take me to the airport. I know we had a few problems before, and I know that I am no longer their "responsibility", but I really love them a lot and I have all year and this makes me feel like they love me back a lot less. I lived with them for 8 months which makes them a huge part of my exchange, and it makes me sad that the year is ending like this. It makes me feel like all I really was to them was a responsibility that they no longer have to worry about.
Times like this make me think about Anna, and all the ways I want to make her feel loved. I don't care what she is like, if we are completely different, or if we don't get along all the time. I am going to do everything possible to make her feel as loved as my second family and friends made me feel. Anna will be recieved at the airport with a thousand balloons and taken to the airport in the end with a million hahaha.
I guess I am just sort of rambling on right now.
This year has been an unforgettable one and it's making me feel all sorts of crazy emotions, but one thing I have always been here is happy. I'm happy now too, in some twisted silly way. :)
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