It turns out I am a little homesick. I should say extremely homesick. I want to make the best out of my time here, but I have felt shaky and almost throw-upy since I left from SFO.
I never felt homesick while I was in Chile, which makes me wonder what changed. I don’t feel right here…at all. I don’t know what to do about it. When I woke up this morning there was a sweet note from Cecile that said I should eat whatever I wanted for breakfast and that I could search the kitchen to find something I would like. It was a nice note to read, but when I went to get food (I haven’t been hungry since I left either but I felt I should force myself to eat) I couldn’t figure out how to open any of the cabinets and I didn’t even want to TRY with the expensive looking kitchen equipment. There was, however, some bread on the counter so I ate that with some water. Eating didn’t take away the nausea, so I am hoping time will.
The note also said that Cecile would be back at 3:00 pm, so I am writing this as I wait for her to come back. It is about 1:40pm here right now, and I have made a plan for what I am going to do with my day. This morning when I woke up, I unpacked my suitcases into the big three-shelved dresser in my room. While I wait for Cecile I will use Rosseta Stone to practice French, and when she gets back I want to ask her where a good place for me to run would be and where I could run certian important errands (like buying shampoo and exchanging my money).
I miss home, and I miss hugging people. I miss understanding what is going on and feeling like I am in the right place. I hope that my feelings change about France as I adjust because right now it feels like a beautiful place to visit but not where I should be living. These are my honest feelings, and I apologize if they are a bit depressing. The silliest part is that I haven’t even met Prunette yet. I think she returns from Great Britain tomorrow, so I think I will update you when I know how that part of my experience goes.
Stay amazing my Californians. I love and miss you all.
Sally, I am proud of you for voicing your true feelings. It takes a very strong person to reach out when they need support. I have been thinking about you often. I was so surprised to see not just one additional blog entry this morning, but THREE!! I am going to read the others now!
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