I have always considered myself to be on great terms with my host family. I have felt so close to them my entire exchange and have always been so grateful for what they have done for me. Yesterday, i sat down with my host parents and asked them about what I should do or what had gone wrong. While talking about the problems, the truth spilled out that they had not been very pleased with me as an exchange student. I felt awful hearing this and immediately wanted to know what I had done wrong and how I could make it better. I asked them for a second chance, to let me show them that I am a good daughter and that I am so happy to have them as parents, and they saw my sincerity and gave me that second chance. I am not a rule breaker, and I do not need second chances often, but I could feel such love in the way they forgave me after I had unintentionally hurt them. I had no idea that our relationship had distanced itself so much, but now looking back on things I realize that things have changed between us. I decided that I was going to become a better daughter and exchange student without really understanding how. They had told me that I had changed and that they missed the girl they had met when I arrived in the airport, so I decided I would be everything she was and more. I didn't think I had changed that much, but what mattered more than my opinion was that I show them who I really am. I began project "New Sally" two days ago, and these two days have been absolutely amazing.
I have gotten up early to go to the farmers market with my dad and gone out to eat cafe helados with him. I have cuddled my host mom and watched telenovelas with her in Mexican Spanish which now sounds so foreign! I have confided in them at the table about how nervous I am about being sent home, and listened to their advice and let them comfort me. They have even gone out of their ways to help me out with Rotary. My dad helped me write an email telling them about our new relationship and my mom has made a lot of phone calls. This evening I went on a long night walk with my mom and we talked for ages about everything we had both gone through and it felt so good to share how I felt with such a loving person.
So really, even with these two perfect days, I am still in the same trouble and tight position with Rotary, but I feel different now. I want to finish my exchange more than I can express in words, but because of these past two days, there are other things for me to focus on that matter a lot to me too. I have been reassured beyond any doubt that I am part of a strong family here. This family, even after having secret problems for so long, forgave me and gave me a second chance when they had no idea if I deserved one or not. They are here for me when I need them with love and support and I could never thank them enough. I asked my dad how they could do this for me and he looked at me and said,"parents will always be mad at their children at times, but they never stop loving them and there is always forgiveness. And that's how we see you too, Sally. You're our daughter."
I don't know where I will be next week. I don't know if I will be back in the US, living with another family in Chile, or still waiting to know what my future is to be. But I do know that I have a family here who loves me and a family in the US loves me. I know that this experience has made me stronger and brought us closer than we might have ever been if there weren't any problems. So whether or not Chilean rotary gives me a second chance to represent my country and continue my exchange, I know that I have changed in the minds and hearts of the people who matter most to me here, and that is something to smile about.
Muchas gracias, mis papas amorosos de Chile. Los quiero más que nada. :)
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